So my husband and I have been married for almost 12 years.. been together for 14.. we got married at 19 and were teen parents at 18.. to make a long story short, we have struggled a lot through the years... my husband is a big party boy and drinker since we were dating.. in the last 12 years I have had to deal with him getting 4 DWI’s, in the middle of this he has had to do some jail time 10 days, lost of community service.. which I have had to sacrifice my time a lot to drive him 30 minutes to the place and get up at 6 am In the morning.. i have also had to deal with courts, him having to pay a lot of money.. we have 2 children.. he has always been a hard worker and provided us with what we needed and more.. he is great with the kids.. and when all is good with us he is also great! But I know he has a drinking problem.. he just got pulled over a month ago for an incorrect turn and he had been drinking and driving.. plus caught driving without his intoxalock machine.. this was after 2 years from him previously being pulled over.. he got soooo lucky the cop called me to pick him up and she didn’t charge him with a DWI. She only charged him with driving without his machine. Well I didn’t speak to him at all that night.. I had already warned him that if he put me through all this again that I would leave.. well like an idiot that I am I forgave him yet again.. he still drinks a lot.. but doesn’t drive.. another thing is anytime that he does drink he gets very abusive with me emotionally ( never physically) but he will call me names like bitch and say he hates me and other things.. this happens almost every time that he drinks to the point of blackening out.. the next day he never remembers and says that I must have done something to make him mad.. I don’t know what to do anymore.. yesterday we had an argument and today he is out drinking and it’s midnight and has not come home.. I have had to force myself to let it go and not contact him at all.. these whole 12 years I feel like I have had to be his mother and not his wife.. I have given him ultimatum but he always somehow flips it on me like it’s my fault.. I don’t know what to do.. I’m so tired of it but I’m so used to him that I don’t know what’s out there aside from him and to be honest it scares me.. since I have been with him my whole world revolves around him and the kids and i don’t really have friends.. im afraid to be alone :( any advice.. what should I do?