My beautiful boy is 2 weeks old. I had a traumatic labour and a spinal puncture from the epidural. I was numb after I gave birth, I didn’t feel a euphoric love for my baby- just pain and a sense of duty to look after my baby. Then the pain took over from the punctured epidural and I was bed bound for a week.

However the last week I’ve finally been feeling myself, mentally and physically stronger. My love for my baby is growing everyday along with my own strength.

Then, this evening my baby had a crying fit and nothing I could do would console him. And- out of NOWHERE- I felt low again. From happy to sad. Up and down. Thoughts like I’m failing my child, struggling with my new identity as a mum...it all got too much and I just fell apart for a bit.

I’m calmer and better now, but just feel so vulnerable and a victim of my emotions. Out of control. I hate that I’m not enjoying motherhood as much as I always thought I would, it was meant to be my purpose and fulfilment. So why isn’t it feeling like it?

Can anyone offer similar experience/ advice?!!