Next month I will be 40 years old. I've always wanted to be a mother. So much so I've became a NICU nurse so I could cuddle all day at work 😍. I also became a foster mother. Fostering 4 children and adopting one as a single parent. Then last year I met the most amazing man. He was a single dad of a 11 year girl, and has had full custody since she was 2. He was everything thing I've prayed for. He even accepted my now 9 year old with ADHD and ODD as his own.

In short on July 1, 2019 we moved in together.

July 15, 2019 we got married.

Then today, this happened 😱

This is no one but God. I am truly blessed

**Updated August 20, 2019**

I miscarried today. My heart is broken. But my husband remains amazing. Because of my medication for my anxiety and depression I feel like I can't grieve appropriately. I also never knew how physically painful miscarriages were. My husband said we learned something from this experience. That is that we can get pregnant. He is right but I really miss my baby.