This is something I’m learning as a parent and wife. I think we are told we have to do it all with no help and we accept that reality. And we run up against family and friends who want to make their own rules for our kids. But I’m learning that boundaries are so healthy for everyone.

- I love my in laws, but no, you can’t buy my son a bunch of shit we don’t need.

- no random woman at the restaurant, you can’t hold my baby

- no husband, you can’t do virtually nothing around the house. I’m not going to cook all your food, do all the chores and take care of our baby. It’s not happening.

- if people want things from me, they can ask, but I have every right to say no without feeling guilty.

- if something doesn’t get done around the house, it’s not just my problem

- no mom, you can’t sit my kid in front of the tv and I’m not taking your advice when you tell me to let my kid cry it out.

- no great grandparent, you can’t smoke and then hold my kid.

I’m finding I basically have to say what I need and then play boundary chicken 🐔. If I give up and let people treat me however or not follow through on things they said they would do or not uphold rules for my kids they said they would uphold, then it’s a whole lot more work next time for them to take me seriously. I have to stick with what I said I needed and not give a shit if it makes someone mad or the house is a mess for a little while or whatever. I can’t control people. They make their own choices but I can choose to draw a line in the sand when it comes to how I compensate for their choices. It’s so much weight off my chest to speak directly, not back down and not hold up other people’s feelings as constantly more important than my own well being.

It’s really helped me not feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and it’s helped me to move out of resentment for how other people behave. There’s really no point in this post besides the fact that I needed to get my thoughts out somewhere.