This is something I’ve been needing to talk about for a while but I haven’t had the balls to ask for help or really acknowledge it is something that needs addressing.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We got together at 14 and now we’re 17. Even though we’re young, I’d say we’re in a pretty serious relationship for someone of our age category which means we’ve both met our families etc etc. When I first met his parents they were wary of me, as most parents are. They were polite and civil so I thought it was okay. He told me his sister had found my Facebook and told him that I’m “ugly” and he can do better. When I first met her, apparently his family didn’t leave her alone with me because they thought she would be threatening towards me.

Since, we’ve been on a lot of trips together where it’s been his parents, sister, him and me and his parents and us. In our latest trip his parents continuously bitched about how much money I was costing them by being there, yet they always refused when I’d offer to pay for my own food. They were saying it to themselves but I could overhear and it made me really uncomfortable, especially as I could have just bought my own food as I have my own money.

His sister told him that I’m using him for his money as he had a job for a long time and I didn’t, which is completely not the case. I haven’t seen his sister since January yet he still tells me that she doesn’t like me. His sister had a baby last year and she used me for free babysitting a lot, and I’ve never done anything that could piss her off so this is really weird to me.

His parents (often his mum) don’t let me in their house. Some of the reasons are: it’s just been cleaned, my mum doesn’t want anybody inside of the house etc. I understand this and ultimately it’s their home but I can’t understand how my family will welcome him with open arms and his won’t. This also applies when I have to leave. She will sometimes demand that I leave immediately with no given explanation.

They bought a nice car not long ago and I wasn’t allowed in it because they said I’m “unclean” and “common”

They constantly remind me that I don’t live in as nice of an area as they do and they always tell m I’m not safe in my own home. I know this might seem like they are looking out for me and it might be their intention, but they are always repeating it to me and I find it a bit intimidating.

Last year, my boyfriend got a water infection and his mum and sister both accused me of cheating on him and giving him an STI. I hadn’t, we both lost of virginities to each other and it was just a normal water infection from dehydration. He also broke the beam of his bed and I was blamed for that for having “too much sex” with him, even though I wasn’t even there when it broke. Whenever I try to bring up the fact that I am often the scapegoat for little incidents he gets really defensive.

When I’ve spoken to my own parents about this they always say two wrongs don’t make a right and I try to integrate this into my relationships with them. I’m well mannered, chatty and kind to them at all times and they repay me through these little but hurtful actions which is honestly driving a wedge between me and my boyfriend. I’m less willing to go to his house because it’s such an effort to please them and if I don’t I’m not with a million remarks.

Our relationship is at a bit of a low point at the moment due to us having a bit an argumentative patch and I just think the family situation isn’t helping.

PLEASE can I have any advice from anyone who’s ever been in a similar situation! It might not seem like a lot but over three years it has really gotten to me.