I’m a new mom. I’m new to it all. The lack of sleep, emotions, no time for yourself, taking care of another human.. and so on. I’m raising my son alone. He has a daddy. But, his daddy was deployed.

There are so many emotions, tears, diapers, cries, sleepless nights, bottles, money, and on. I knew being a mom wouldn’t be easy. I gave up my body for 39 weeks to grow my rainbow baby. I’ve sacrificed a lot. I do what I’m supposed to do..

I get upset. I cry. I want my happiness.. my sanity.

I don’t get that.

Don’t get me wrong.. I LOVE MY CHILD. I love being a mom. I love the giggles, smiles, and the way he looks at me.

But, being a mom is hard.. being a parent in general in hard.. but doing it all alone..

It’s difficult. You have many people telling you how to parent your child.

You have problems with breastfeeding.. you beat yourself up over it.. because you had to supplement formula. You want what is hest for your child. Nobody really says “you’re doing a great job! I’m so proud of you.” You just go with the flow and you’re just a parent. You take responsibility.

Sometimes you have added stress from your SO. You fight over the phone.. you cry. You want to runaway from everything and everyone.

There’s depression.. horrible depression.

Sometimes you see your body as ruined and disgusting. There’s so many things that come with being a parent..

You ask yourself “where is my happy ending?”

Through all the pain, tears, exhaustion, money, and everything else..

You have a child. The most beautiful thing in the world. A human you created.. It is not easy.. not at all. But I love being a mom. I love this child more than anything.