I'm writing this here because I need a place to vent and I can't take to social media just yet.

I found out I was pregnant about a week ago at 4 weeks - crazy early. And thus my anxiety kicked into full swing. It was not a planned pregnancy as I'm still breastfeeding my 20 month daughter, but wanted nonetheless.

However, I've been cramping for a week, spotting for 3 days, and all symptoms have since disappeared, so it seems it was not to be. And I know that what will be will be. But if it's going bad I just want it to hurry up and go bad so that I'm not forever living in the "is it, isn't it" state that I'm in now.

But what is really getting to me right now is not the possibility of losing it. It's my family and friends who think they're "helping" me by placating me and telling me I'm being paranoid when all I want is someone to vent to, someone to listen and say "I get that".

My kids are 13 years apart due to fertility issues and before my daughter was born I had 2 normal miscarriages, 1 suspected miscarriage (That I never bothered to get confirmed), and two missed miscarriages - one at 7-10 weeks and one at 19-21 weeks.

When I am bleeding - however lightly - after a history like I've had I don't want people trying to build false hope or placating me. I am not being pessimistic or negative. I am being realistic and protecting myself!! So I don't appreciate people telling me that I'm "stupid" for saying or thinking such things.....

Do you know what I mean??

10wks

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