I'm feeling lost and confused, please help 💔

first off, I am not a cheater and I will never cheat on someone I am in a relationship with. however, this is the first time I have thought about another man while in a relationship and I'm scared.

I have just been dating my boyfriend (a) for a month, here's a little about us:

- I've known him for like 4 years, we went to high school together

- we've been dating for one month

- we are both 20

- he didn't graduate, lives at home and has about $300 in his account total each week

- works at gas station, can't drive

- super sweet heart relationship wise, cute and romantic

- super laid back, doesn't care about a whole lot, easy going

- he's white, im mixed, but recently I see he stereotypes black people which I'm not super comfortable with

-hes fine around my family but has never met my dad (the black one lol)

- he's Republican and I'm a Democrat

and here's a little about the other guy (j) and I

- met on a dating app, brought me gifts cause we had been talking a while, and ended up seeing each other for 2 months but never made it official

-were both mixed, he never hung out with my family

- he's in military (he's 21), has a car, has ambition, likes to go out

- he took care of me and we shared bills and driving but he liked to be "the man" which I kinda miss:/

- he never seemed like he was comfortable with being exclusive 100%

okay thank you for reading that, now I will explain.

j had been trying to text me since about 2 months ago. we stopped talking 4 months ago. at first I thought he was trying to work his way up to a booty call lol but he was just asking random questions for a bit. then the night of my first date with a, j asked me out to a movie. I was done with j at this point because I really liked him but I felt like he just wanted to mess around and I knew if I saw him again I'd probably go along with it.

so, the beginning of dating a was great. I drove everywhere and paid and he pays sometimes too, but a few days ago I woke up and got the weirdest feeling that I am not meant to be with a. I have been thinking about it non stop since then. I enjoy our time together in the moment but I seriously can not see our future together. I have a lot of dreams and he just likes it how it is. he's not a bad person at all but our views aren't matching up as I continue to date him.

my friends say keep at it because people can grow together. but I feel so bad, my first relationship was like this and I am feeling tired of it already. I had to teach him how to drive, push him to work, feel like I was his mom and not his gf and now I see the same signs again.:( am I rude to feel this way? he's not a bad person like I said, but I don't like the uncertainty I'm feeling. also I feel weird breaking it off after only just a month... idk..

ALSO, now I am thinking about j during my current relationship? isn't that a red flag on my part? j texted me again yesterday saying he really regrets not locking me down when he did and that the other girls he has met just can't compare. he says he's leaving for training and wants me to just think about us talking again, nothing weird just meeting up to talk. it has been four months, don't u think he wants more than just to fuck? or an I being naieve? like he could hook up with any girl he wants he's super attractive but somehow he keeps trying to get me back?

AHHHH I am literally so stressed out. I can see a future with j and not a. even if I don't get back with j I still feel like I need to leave a because I'm even thinking about another man. any opinions, thoughts?