I’m pretty sure I’ve never experienced an orgasm despite trying to masturbate and being sexually active. I wanted to see if this experience I have when masturbating/having sex is normal; it’ll feel great for a bit, I’ll feel a build up, and then suddenly when I feel like an orgasm should be on the brink my sex drive completely plummets. I just become numb.

I can understand why it’s so much harder to achieve an orgasm from having sex with a guy, especially just penetrative but I’ve had experiences where a guy has tried so hard to help and has been doing everything right but I’ll just suddenly lose interest even when it feels great and when I feel like I’m on the brink.

This is the part I put the trigger warning for, I’m honestly not sure how lenient eve is with this topic but here it goes.

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder a few months ago, along with depression and an anxiety disorder even earlier. I’ve been an anxious gal for as long as I can remember. One of my therapists had always had a suspicion that I have been suppressing a memory of a traumatic experience, given some of the things I am dealing with it would most likely be sexually related. I have always felt extremely uncomfortable and fearful around older men, for most of my life experienced low self-esteem and body image issues, have more recently began experiencing dissociation/derealization, I’m super promiscuous but at the same time fear intimacy, I have sudden bouts of feeling so so uncomfortable in my body to the point where I want to claw my skin off and every pair of eyes on me are a threat and every article of clothing touching me sends me into a meltdown (like the feeling of my bra straps against my skin), to name just a few of these issues.

Aside from asking if this problem with reaching an orgasm is a common and normal experience, I’m working up the courage to ask if this experience can be related to childhood sexual abuse. If anyone feels comfortable sharing any insight I would greatly appreciate it. These are things I will be working on with a therapist but in the mean time I’m hoping to hear from anyone in a non-professional setting to see if this is even an issue that could be related and should be brought up with a professional. Also any suggestions and tips on how to work on this difficulty would be appreciated as well!

Sorry for the heavy, dark post but I’m in need of some clarity.

Condom Leak

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