Why can’t I leave him?

Lu

Ladies I need help. I don’t understand why I can’t build up the courage to leave my partner I have put up with physical and metnal abuse for 5 years yet every time he wants to break it off I don’t want it to happen and then in the past 2 weeks iv been craving to do things that make me happy and I just can’t do them with him I felt a new beginning happening for me and I know he isn’t involved in it but i just don’t know how to do it. I wanna be free I wanna be with friends and family I’m over him keeping me all to himself he hasn’t worked in over a year I have been supporting him for years I’m only 22yrs and know this might sound dumb to most of you but some tips would really help me out I wanna be happy for once ❤️