It’s been almost a month since finding out my ex of 5 years cheated. Almost a month since I told him I would forgive him and a month since he told me he no longer wanted to be with me.

Since then I’ve given birth to my baby @35 weeks and he’s currently 12 days old.

I had an allergic reaction to my caesarean and in result, my entire body broke out in an inflamed full body rash with millions of hives.

From then I got an infection that spread throughout my body.

My new baby is 12 days old and I haven’t even got to enjoy becoming a new mother. I’ve been in and out of the hospital, in severe pain, and just miserable. I’ve had to be taken care of and also have had others help take care of my daughter.

I just found out that I can’t have anymore kids due to almost dying and my kids dying during child birth. And now fear I’ll never have anything to offer a future relationship.

I still love with my ex and I’m still completely in love with him. He’s slowly moving on and it kills me.

I just don’t know what I’ve done to deserve any of this. 😭😭😭

I know I have two beautiful kids and how lucky I am.