So I’ve been debating making a post about this for quite awhile now and have decided that I want to share my story in case anyone else has gone through this and also to shed light on a topic that’s not discussed enough and can make women feel defeated and hopeless. This could get long so bear with me.....

July 12-after almost 2 years of trying, we got a positive pregnancy test! 😍😁 let the freaking out and excitement commence! We ordered announcement shirts and started picking out names and imagining our new lives as a family of 7.

July 19-I started having some spotting so I went to the doctor. He examined me and said that yes, there was some blood but he didn’t see my cervix opening at all and that some spotting is common in pregnancy sometimes. Got home and went straight to Google (I know, I know) where I found hundreds of stories of women bleeding throughout their entire pregnancy and still having healthy babies! My anxiety was still high but I found comfort in knowing others had gone through the same thing I was.

My hCG levels this day were 51. Low, but normal if it was a very early pregnancy.

July 20-no bleeding at all during the day but had very light spotting at night but didn’t think much of it.

July 21-woke up and knew something was wrong. Spent all day cramping and bleeding quite a bit. In my heart, I knew the pregnancy was ending but couldn’t wrap my head around what was happening to me. 😭😭

My doctor had wanted to check my levels again on the 22nd but I called them and said I miscarried over the weekend and didn’t think I needed my hCG levels checked because I was pretty certain of what happened.

August 2-called my primary doctor again because I hadn’t stopped bleeding but when I took a pregnancy test, the line showed up instantly and it was SUPER dark like the pregnancy was still growing. He wanted me to have an ultrasound right away to rule out an ectopic pregnancy.

I went back to Google and found that there are women who had experienced this same thing again and had healthy pregnancies so my hopes were lifted that the darker line could be a good sign! I had the ultrasound and then waited in the dr’s office for what seemed like forever.

When he finally came in, he didn’t have good news. He said the U/S tech had ruled it a “suspected ectopic pregnancy” because she could see something in my right Fallopian tube.

My hCG levels were checked again and they were up to 178. Nowhere near high enough to be a viable pregnancy after all that time so he sent me to a different hospital to be seen by an OB/GYN.

The doctor I saw was very unsure of what my next steps should be. He wanted my hCG levels checked again because if they were getting higher, I would most likely need surgery or medication to pass it completely. It takes about an hour for the results to come back so I drove around aimlessly, waiting for the phone call telling me if I had to go to the Cancer Center to get the medication.

FINALLY the phone rang and it was the nurse saying that my levels had gone down to 114 so it appeared my body was taking care of it and I wouldn’t need the medication. Hallelujah.

August 3-8-still bleeding everyday and cramping on and off but figured that was normal. By this time, I’m ready to lose it because I’m so sick of being reminded of what was going on every single time I went to the bathroom.

August 9-bleeding was a little more than what I’d come to think of as normal but by this point, it was a daily thing so I didn’t think too much of it anymore. I made supper for my family (pork chops, potatoes and corn on the cob. YUM!) and went outside afterwards to smoke and talk to my hubby about our day. The cramping then returned with a vengeance but I was like “I’m tough, it will be over soon, I can handle it.”

Over the next 20-30 minutes, the pain intensified and did NOT let up like normal cramps do. My first thought was “the egg didn’t pass and has ruptured my Fallopian tube.”

I was terrified but couldn’t let it show because we had 3 of 4 kids here and I didn’t want to scare them.

We all got in the car and went to the ER. Every bump, every turn made the pain worse and by the time we got to the hospital, I was certain I was going to pass out.

My whole body was shaking and I needed help to walk. I couldn’t talk through the pain and couldn’t open my eyes.

Got back in the exam room and two nurses helped me get on the table and I told hubby to go back to the lobby to be with the kids and help calm them down.

This is when I thought it was over for me. The pain got WORSE and I finally let out the tears that I had been holding back. I was sobbing, moaning and struggling to breathe while the nurse tried to get my IV put in. I couldn’t lie down because it felt like my insides were on fire and I was sure I was bleeding internally and surgery was my next step.

They gave me some drugs to help with the pain and to calm me down and I had another ultrasound which showed.....NOTHING alarming.

There was no ectopic pregnancy anymore.

My tubes were still intact.

There was no internal bleeding or fluid anywhere and my uterus lining was thin so that means things were getting back to normal.

The doctor said that it must have been the end of the miscarriage and that it was just severe cramping to expel what was left inside. I couldn’t believe it. All of that was JUST cramping?!

I was so relieved that I didn’t have to have surgery but I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that nothing was wrong and it was just cramping. To me, that’s insane! I am very stubborn and don’t go to the doctor very often unless I’m practically dying so for me to go to the ER without any insurance, you know it was excruciating.

Ladies, this stuff is no joke and to everyone who has lost a pregnancy or had something similar to this happen to you, I am so extremely sorry you had to go through this. This has been the most traumatizing, terrifying thing that has ever happened to me but I’m so thankful I’m still here and that nothing serious happened that required surgery. If you think something might be wrong, please go get checked out.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read about my experience and I hope it helps at least one person know that you’re NOT alone. Lots of women have gone through something similar so I hope that brings you some comfort.

Now we spend our days trying to get back in a routine and back to what will be our new normal.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️