Third loss in 1 year

I am slowly losing my mind. I was finally sure we were finally going to have our rainbow after 2 losses. My hcg was rising crazy, but the ultrasound didn't show any unusual growths so it wasn't a molar pregnancy, we heard the heart at 7w3d at 9w7d and today, I just went in for an ultrasound before genetic testing and when the doctor said she can't find the hearbeat I swear I just wanted to die on the table. We were supposed to be 11w3d, but the baby stopped at 11w1d, saturday, a day with symptoms, a day when I puked, a day we had fun while our baby stopped growing. I just want to die, I got a second opinion at the hospital, but there still wasn't a heartbeat anymore. I think this will be the end of our trying to concieve journey, I just can't do it anymore. I don't think I can try, go through emotions every month with negative test, then positive ones, blood tests, progesteron supplements, injectable blood thinners, maybe I am just not strong enough or worthy enough to have a baby... Good luck and baby dust to everyone going through losses. I hope you make it!