Hey guys, so I thought writing this might help someone going through the same thing. It’s a bit long but maybe someone will find this helpful. Let me start by saying how hopeful and excited I was to find out I was pregnant.

This is my timeline:

I had my period from June 1st-7th.

I conceived somewhere between June 14th-20th. I know this because that’s when my boyfriend came to visit me (we are long distance). I was on the mini-pill but that week we were so busy I didn’t take it on time every day.

My first symptom of pregnancy was actually peeing myself while I was at the lake with my sisters. I thought this was really strange because I’m usually really good about holding in my pee. My breasts also got really sensitive and hurt to touch. I had morning sickness that lasted morning and night and didn’t have much nausea until the end of July.

My period was due to begin on July 8th, but I decided to test on July 4th and I got a faint positive. Every day after that I tested and the lines got a lot darker. By July 8th, I got a solid definite line and I was pregnant. I told my immediate family, my boyfriend, and some family members as well, who were all so supportive and excited for me.

Everything went smoothly the next couple of weeks. I scheduled an appointment with my OB/GYN for August 5th. On July 31st, I started spotting brown when I wiped so I went to the ER, as this is not my first pregnancy (I had a miscarriage before) and any sign of spotting or bleeding freaked me out. The doctors took me in, did a pelvic exam, told me my cervix was closed, took my blood to do a quantitative HCG reading (2,639), and did an ultrasound on me. They were able to rule out an ectopic pregnancy as they found the gestational sac in my uterus. At this point I wasn’t sure how far along I actually was because I wasn’t tracking when I ovulated or anything. At the end, the doctor told me that I’m really early in my pregnancy and not to worry and spotting is normal during early pregnancy. He did order me to get another ultrasound and bloodwork to see if my HCG levels would double in 48 hours.

I got the bloodwork done on August 2nd after work. Unfortunately they did not double, but they did rise slightly (2,922). I was still hopeful. At my appointment on August 5, I met with two nurses who told me that because of my HCG not doubling, it seemed like the pregnancy is not viable. They gave me 3 options just in case. I went to do my ultrasound after. My ultrasound showed only a gestational sac that measured 11.7mm. I was around 5-6 weeks that time and the technician told me to come back in two weeks to check on progression as it was too early.

On August 9th during work I started spotting brown/dark red with a couple of small clots at work. I work as a technician/medical assistant at an optometrist’s office, having to pretest 19 patients alone that day. I definitely over-exerted my body and I thought that my spotting/bleeding was due to that.

On Saturday and Sunday I decided to put myself on bed rest as the bleeding got progressively worse only when I walked around. The bleeding did not get on my panty liner, only when I used the bathroom and wiped. Then the blood got heavier and would drip into the toilet. I passed some pea sized blood clots and felt the need to push something out of me. I had an appointment scheduled for Monday (August 12) so I tried to stay as calm as I could, but I already knew what was to come. The strange thing was, I didn’t feel any cramping. I only felt some pain/discomfort near my bladder and uterus. It was a heavy feeling like my period was about to start. I kept getting the urge to push. Come Sunday night, all symptoms disappeared and I only had brown spotting.

I woke up yesterday morning (August 12) to bleeding again and went to my appointment. My younger sister came along for support. The doctors did a pelvic exam and told me that I was bleeding a lot and that the outside of my cervix was a little bit open. They told me that they suspected that I was miscarrying, but they wanted to confirm with bloodwork to check if my HCG levels dropped. I got the bloodwork done and went back home to rest. Sure enough, they did drop to 2,000.

I had told the doctor that I wanted to do a D&C if I were to miscarry just so I wouldn’t have to physically go through the pain of naturally expelling everything again. I was devastated and crying hysterically to my boyfriend, who tried his best to comfort me. Throughout the day I felt fine until last night. The contractions started around 9 PM and didn’t stop until 1:30 AM. I was in the bathroom by myself, crying and pushing while on the phone with my boyfriend. It was both traumatic and tiring (that’s why I opted for a D&C). I felt relief when I finally released the gestational sac (I kept checking the toilet to make sure I was). I felt numb and my mind was blank by then.

The pain was the worst part of it. I didn’t know that I would miscarry so fast, but I’m relieved it didn’t last for days. After passing everything, I felt relief from the pain and I laid in bed and cried. The bleeding is still heavy this morning but not as bad as what I just went through last night. I called out from work today to heal and recover physically and mentally. I plan on calling the doctors office to let them know so they can check to make sure I passed everything completely.

I’m not sure why I miscarried again, but my boyfriend was very reassuring and there for me every step of the way. He will be moving here August 27 and we plan on talking to the doctor together to see what steps I can take for the next time we try again. I was taking the necessary prenatal vitamins I needed every day ever since I found out I was pregnant. For now, I’m going to rest and heal. Loss is never easy and it will never be. I tried my best to take care of myself and make sure I was doing the right things for the baby and myself.

Just as fast as I got pregnant, I quickly suffered through a miscarriage. I never want to experience this again and I would never wish this upon anyone. If you start spotting or bleeding during your pregnancy please get it checked out even if you think it’s nothing. And if you are suffering through a miscarriage, try to surround yourself with those who love and support you. I’m still learning how to deal with this loss as it just happened last night, but I know I will be okay eventually. If you’ve made it this far thank you for taking the time to read this and please take care of yourself.