Alright girls. This is my first official post, we got married on July 2nd, and found out I was pregnant Late July. With our “honey moon baby” We were SO happy, unplanned or not we were thrilled. August 1st I had minimal spotting had my HCG checked and they were very low, checked 2 days later and they dropped, and the day before my third check I had a miscarriage that night. My levels were 164 the next morning, fast forward to yesterday and my levels are less than 5 and uterus is empty. My OBGYN said we could start trying again as soon as we wanted to, that there was no need to wait. (Which kind of concerns me, I’d always heard to wait 3 months).

I guess what I’m asking is how long did you wait before you tried again.? If we decide to try again soon -ish.

Also I’m having a lot of trouble dealing with mourning something that I barley even got to know about. I only knew I was pregnant for like 2 weeks. But in those weeks I was so in love, and so was my husband, we had so many plans. 🙁 How do I give up those dreams? I try to stay distracted so I don’t have to think about it, but sitting at the OBGYN waiting room was hard. Everyone’s pregnant, with big belly’s happily waitin with their husbands to go back. Even happier women are leaving with pictures of their babies talking about how big they are. I can hear the heart beats from the ultrasound room through the wall.. it was just so heartbreaking for me, but I was happy for them.

I suffer from anxiety and depression, and had difficulty from the beginning of my pregnancy with anxiety.

I actually had a my mother in law tell me that I shouldn’t tell people (I just told immediate family) bc I will jinx it and miscarry, and “what if” something was to happen. That just robbed my joy from me, implanted those thoughts in my head. Well what if happened sadly. Im not sure how to deal with that, and especially how I feel about what she said.

Anyways- sorry that turned into a rambling rant. 😭