So this is my first post and requires some back story. My fiancé and I met 9 years ago when we were teens, he was my first kiss, my first love, and although we didn’t stay together we’ve both had feelings for each other since then. We’ve never done anything about it because I had some childhood trauma that made it difficult for me to even imagine being in a relationship and he has had no problem dating people.

We’ve been close friends over all those years and almost got together many times but mainly I was too scared to make the jump. Cut to last year, he was in a relationship with someone else but wasn’t happy, she treated his son badly and he realised it wasn’t the relationship for him, and they broke up. A few weeks later they found out she was pregnant.

He’s an incredible dad so stuck by her throughout the pregnancy even though they were no longer a couple.

Then around 5 months after they broke up, we finally got our acts together and agreed to be in a relationship. I understood he was still expecting a baby with her and gave him the space to help her, he would go to every appointment and paid for everything the baby needed. He even stayed on her sofa after the baby was born to be there for night feeds but he was always open with me about what was going on. During all this she felt able to rant to him and talk to him often, and she still had feelings for him.

Now it’s over two months later, we’ve just arrived back from a holiday and before we left he proposed to me and I said yes. Before we left for our holiday his ex asked him to not post any photos from our holiday because she wanted to pretend it was just him and his son away and that I didn’t exist, he told me this and was annoyed that she’d asked. During the holiday I posted a photo on Facebook and tagged him in it, after verifying with him if it was okay and letting him see the post because I didn’t want to upset anyone, and he said it was fine, but after he got multiple messages from her about it and she wasn’t happy.

I don’t like how much she messages him, and I know he doesn’t reply often but I feel he should still tell her to take a step back.

Towards the end of our trip I was having a very insecure day and he left his phone in the room and I read his messages. His reply to her about the photo was that he was sorry to disappoint her, and then she proceeded to send him a message about how she was trying to be patient but soon her anger would turn to the ‘true problem’ (meaning me), and then she sent him a bunch of text posts about women who steal others boyfriends and about crazy women.

I didn’t tell him I read his messages, but I did have a breakdown about the situation and about how I felt I was being made out to be the villain, and how I felt he was almost still in an emotional relationship with her and if he was truly on my side and wants to build a future with me he needs to stand up for me and let her know that.

He’s assured me he’ll talk to her by the end of the week but how am I truly meant to know? I trust him but she worries me.

I haven’t even been able to post about my engagement for fear of hurting her who will in turn hurt my fiancé and it feels like she’s dictating my relationship with him.

He makes me happier than I’ve ever been but I just don’t know what to do here.