The birth I heard the doctor struggle to pull him out and I heard then suck the water away. They gave me a glimpse of my son before they whisked him away. Even the first latch didn't feel anything special both emotionally and physically because I was numb a bit in my chest. Weird to explain, I was awake but just numb. They asked me to spell his name and I couldn't even at the 3rd try, my mom told them am out of it and I told them to ask my husband. I blamed my lack of the overjoyed emotions everyone talked about on the fact that it was a C-section I wasn't aware I was going to get an hour earlier. But now as I write, I think it was the meds. Luckily, the next day, he was sleeping in the hospital crib next to me and the overwhelming urge to pick him up came over me and I started crying in love. Late but it came.

Anyway. For me, two things stand out for me and are emotional highlights. First, it was when the lactation consultant came to help me learn the right latch the second time since my nipples were still paining. I was scared of the right breast and told her I think there is nothing but he latches on and started swallowing strongly. I was in wonder. It was amazing to see him drink that hard for the first time. My milk had come in. I felt so good seeing how he even enjoyed it. Oh the joy.

The second experience for me that was amazingly amazing happened yesterday. He laughed for the first time. He had been smiling but yesterday after days of stomach pain and crying a lot, he started laughing on my nipple. I thought he was choking so I looked keenly at him. Only to realised his lips were shaped like a smile and he was laughing so much he got of the nipple. Now I don't know what he dreamt that was so funny but I just remember how he laughed and keep laughing myself. I don't care if it was a reflex or real, it just felt so heavenly. I love my baby. N I love being with him to experience all he is going through.

Ps. He is 7 weeks