Background info, my husband(37M) and I(32F) have been in a rough spot for a while now. We're trying to have a baby. Have been for the last year. We have had two miscarriages in that time frame. We have been together for 17 years and married for 10. We waited to have kids until we were both secure in our careers.

The problem is all based around sex. He has started to see it as only about having a baby, not really fun anymore. I have tried everything to get him more interested in it, but nothing seems to work. I have role played, watch porn with him, bondage, etc...

We have always been great at sex! We both have had very high sex drives and our normal was every other day or so. Always open about our kinks and fantasies. Have had multiple three ways with women, but he is the only man I have been with.

Everything was great until we started trying for a baby. We had to do it everyday for two weeks straight to make sure we were not missing ovulation on doctors orders. It took us three months to get pregnant. After the first miscarriage I couldn't have sex for nine weeks, which was really hard for him. I bought him a flesh light to help with his needs. He couldn't get off with me helping him with it, so sex became a solo thing for him. And he would watch porn and use the toy almost everyday. Well when I was better, and medically cleared, we started having sex again. BUT, we only did it doggy style.

We got in to multiple fights over him having the flesh light and using that instead of having sex with me. He ended up throwing away the toy because it was such a big deal to me.

Fast forward two months and I get pregnant unexpectedly on a month we were not trying and miscarry again. This time we can't have sex for 3 weeks, but I become an Oral fucking champ during those 3 weeks. LIKE GOLD MEDAL DEEP THROAT SKILLS!

So after that, the doctor makes me go on birth control for two months before we're can try again. We still only do it doggy style, but NOW it seems like he would rather jerk off to porn than have sex with me.

He will tell me he isn't horny, and then if I leave the house for more than twenty minutes, he fucking jerks off. And the worst part is, he lies to me about it. If I ask about if he jerked off he treats me like I am a crazy person, but then I sneak to check his history and find porn like crazy.

The most frustrating part is I AM ALWAYS HORNY! I want to fuck all the time, and am wet after just him saying the word sex. I am getting super sexually frustrated and bored, but want to have a baby so will take whatever he will give me. He knows this too, and I think he sometimes uses it as a weapon.

It sucks because every other part of our relationship is amazing. We support each other and are best friends. I love him so much and he is my favorite human on this planet! BUT, we have this fucked up part that is hurting me and starting to color our other interactions. If I try to talk to him about it, he says it is never enough and I am never happy. He thinks that the sex we have everyday during those two weeks should be enough and I should be happy that we are doing it that much.

He doesn't realize it has been 3 weeks since I orgasmed during sex, and I am not sure he cares. I ask to switch up the position and he says it is too hard on his knees or back. I ask to throw some kink in there and he says he just wants to get it over with and relax.

How the hell do I fix this? Am I being too hard to please? Should I just let go of this and hope after we have a baby things will get back to normal? I am so sick of feeling like a crazy person because I want my husband to want to have sex with me instead of his hand.

TL;DR: Sex life rocky after trying for baby for a year. Husband seems to prefer jerking off over sex. I am horny all the time even though we do it everyday for two weeks straight. Getting sexually frustrated and don't know how to fix it.