Hi everyone - before I start - I ask some advice about a procedure that I'm having tomorrow to help with my miscarriage but also give a little backstory into my current life, with the children that I have. If this is not the right group to post in, I deeply and scincerely apologize. Please let me know. Thank you for your support 💕

My husband and I found out we were expecting while I was waiting to go under general anesthesia for my tonsillectomy. It was a complete shock, as when we found out I had the Mirena.

Fast forward a week - I have since had my Mirena removed, gotten 4 beta tests, and have had bleeding since Sunday. My HCG levels have not been decreasing, but fluctuating and not at a rate of a healthy pregnancy. My OB called me today and told me I need to come in tomorrow for a manual vacuum aspiration.

The emotional rollercoaster of disbelief of even being pregnant, to being optimistically hopeful, and then in denial that this is even happening.

Has anyone had this procedure before? What should I expect? How do I accept that this is happening - and that there is no way for me to currently be having a healthy pregnancy. I feel heartbroken, crazy, devestated.

Side note: We already have two amazing boys. 13 yrs old and 8 yrs old. Our 8 yr old has non-verbal autism and is intellectually disabled. My husband has refused to have another child because the possibility of having another child with significant needs scares him.

When we found out we were pregnant, I was feeling like "omg yes!!!!!!! This was my only chance.." and I'm having a really hard time accepting all of this.