I don't know how you ladies do it. Some of you have hearts of steel. I feel weak for giving up so soon. All of the OPKs. The fucking thermometer. every. Damn. Morning. At 8:15 to 8:35. Like. Fucking. Clockwork. Literally. Lol. The prenatal. The pre-seed. The baby dances, even when we're tired or fighting. Tired of baby shower announcements. Fucking gender reveals. Pregnancy announcements. Sonogram pictures. It's all just breaking my heart.

I'm coming up on a year from my second consecutive MC and I am just... done. I kept hoping husband and I would finally get out angel baby and get our lives going as it was supposed to have been... but who am I to argue with God's plan?

I just feel helpless. Alone. Heartbroken. Sick. Tired. And defeated. I feel so terribly defeated.