I usually post about my babygirl seeing how I’m a first time mom.. but today I just wanna vent about something I’m dealing with personally. Growing up my mother and I weren’t always the closest I wished we could be. For some reason she didn’t treat me how I always wished she would or how I now treat my babygirl. When I was about 3 years old her bf moved in with his two sons, seeing how she already had 4 kids of her own including me, I knew that affection would be gone or split amongst 6. My sister and I finally got the courage last year to tell her and our family about the sexual ABUSE we had endured throughout our childhood from our stepfather. It broke my mother’s heart, but it was such a big opportunity for us as a family to grow and heal. With high hopes my sister and I kissed our mom goodnight and parted our separate ways (we are grown now 23 and 20) after numerous attempts to get her to stay the night with either of us. At this time I was 4 months pregnant and desperately wanted to build a relationship with my mother and to get justice for the broken little girl inside.. a week went by two weeks.. as my supporting boyfriend constantly asked have I heard from my mom yet my hopes started to die. That little girl inside started to cry and wonder all over again am I wrong am I loved ? Finally my mother reached out to me and told me she forgave him just like that. No consequences no separation no justice. She told me God told her to forgive and stand by his side. At that moment not just me but my boyfriend as well decided it’d be best to cut her out of our lives completely. Still to this day my heart breaks when I think about her ooh how I miss her.. I love her. I wanted her to be apart of my daughters life and mine. But how could I allow this ? As she lies in bed with the man the stole everything from me.. my innocence my childhood my mom.. pray for me pray for my sanity. My goal everyday is to be better than what I had growing up to protect and love my child before anything else in life. My daughter is now 3 months old and she will never be able to say I wasn’t close with my mom. I pray one day things will change and I am currently fighting for justice with the cops for that little girl.. for my little sister.. at this time I put it in God’s hands I just wanted to tell my story. I love and miss my mom so much.