6 wk PP - found bf on Ashley Madison
Please be nice in your replies. I do plan to work through this with my bf and stay together, but really need to tell someone and looking for other positive advice or fellow mommy’s that have went through this..
I’m 6 wk PP with our first. As we all know that means sex has been off limits since the end of my pregnancy and is finally cleared by my doctor. We’ve had sex twice now since I’ve been cleared and all’s well. Just one problem: that womanly “something is up” instinct. He made a comment a few days ago that he was pissed Verizon charged him for going over on his data and I found this to be very odd for someone who doesn’t appear to be on his phone “that much.” Mostly work related, checking the weather, work calls etx so HOW could he go over? I joked about the 6 wks no sex thing and asked if he’d been watching a ton of porn (jokingly..) and he brushed it off and said it was from playing his Sirius radio at work everyday. I didn’t feel that was the real answer so, I did what any loving, new mom would do.. i snooped
For the second time now, I’ve discovered the man I love on Ashley Madison with a secret account. Talk about a gut wrenching discovery. No wonder the data overage, that 6 wks “no sex” didn’t seem to bother him and he’s felt distant. I have no evidence otherwise of catching him cheating yet other then his profile that very clearly states he’s “attached male seeking females” and his limits are “whatever excites him.” My heart just ripped out of me and felt stomped as I breastfed our daughter and he was “at work” while his gross profile listed he was “online.” I haven’t caught him with a woman yet, but that doesn’t mean he’s not just as guilty.
Let’s back track. This is not to be confused with discovering his first profile in December just WEEKS after finding out we were expecting and two weeks before Christmas. I again noticed the odd behavior and the very apparent phone habits changing. It was always glued to his side or he “didn’t know where it was” and happened to have mowed one day and left it in the garage. Instincts man, I just knew there was something. I was able to go into his email, where I found all his profile creation info, new messages from local women wanting to meet him, etx. I deleted the profile and all the emails as well as unsubscribes to the site so he wouldn’t get any profile deletion emails. I was going to call him out but decided to just put his phone back in hopes that next time he went to log in he’d either feel like a huge asshole for what he was doing or two, just give up. It’s been months now 6+ and it’s never come up in convo bc I wanted to test him and see if he’d do it again.
6 months later, a family of a newborn and he’s back at it. He’s 45, I’m 28. Maybe it’s his age and that “gotta make sure he’s still got it” panic? Idk
But I’m really hurting. And idk if it’s even worth bringing up bc I’m not ready to risk our daughter being in the middle of that. I’m strong enough to work through this and push foreword but desperately hoping for insight and advice. I created a fake profile on there and my name is my daughters name and mommy. (In a nutshell..)My bio clearly states to not message me, the only reason I’m on there is in hopes that my daughters daddy comes across my profile and stops for a moment to realize how lucky he is to have a beautiful woman at home that would do anything for him and a daughter waiting for daddy to come home from work and love and snuggle her. I posted that my attempts were desperately hoping he’d realize he was in the wrong and give up his hurtful, sneaky habit to save his family. I have zero intentions on anything or anyone on that site other then hoping he comes across my new profile and he gets that gut wrenching feeling I once (twice) did discovering the man I love, seeking others while his faithful woman is at home, raising our daughter and patiently waiting for him to come home and spend time with us.
It’s so hard to know when he’s in the other room he’s thinking of others and likely engaging in those conversations in private w them :(
I’m willing to wait and work through this. But have no idea how to call him out other then just wait for him to discover my profile.
My other idea was to make a fake profile and “approach him” as an interested woman etx and see how he reacted or what he’d tell/say to this stranger of a woman.. but know he’d be PISSED if he caught me setting him up.. so I felt it was a better option to put myself out there in hopes he’d hurt reading my profile and realize it would be THAT easy for me to do the same thing behind his back but I have so much more respect for him and myself then that.
I guess I’m more so trying to teach him a lesson.. help! 😔