I feel like a horrible mother
I am 36 weeks pregnant and absolutely miserable. I have a 16 month old daughter who is very demanding. I had SPD and I can barely walk or stand so I cant even look after my daughter to the best of my ability. Every morning I cry as it takes me 20 minutes to get out of bed. I just want this pregnancy to be over. I am so tired and miserable. I have to keep a chair by my toilet and my bed just to get out of bed. My husband works 6 days a week away from home so I'm alone in all that time with my little girl. I cant even pick her up anymore.
He told me today he cant even get time off work for when our son is born and that he cant just walk out of his job so he won't even be there for the birth of our son. When I get home after the birth I'm going to be on my own again. My mother doesn't care she has booked a holiday straight after my due date and my grandmother is my aunties permanent babysitter because she cant be bothered to look after her own child. His family are in china so there is no chance they will come. I just feel so alone. The feeling is so different from my first. I just want this over and done with. Every day I pray I will go into labour so I don't have to keep suffering.
I feel awful. I feel like a shitty mum to both of my children.