I need advice and the circumstances are going to sound stupid but it’s making me feel crazy.

My older daughters ceiling fan is wobbly. She asked my husband to fix it, so when she was asleep he turned on the light to fix it. She was woken up (obviously) and asked him to shut off the light so she could sleep and told him it was fine.

It was still wobbly so I asked him to look at it later and he said he wouldn’t because she said it was fine. So I went to look at it today and found the loose screw. Unfortunately, to get to it, I have to take the whole fan down and I’m not comfortable messing with electrical stuff so I called him in to help me. He insisted he wouldn’t help me and I could figure it out with Google and that “this is an opportunity to show your kids how to problem solve.” To which I responded, “this is an opportunity to show them it’s okay to ask for help.” He was condescending and even brought up a situation I had with a friend recently to intentionally insult me.

I told him he’s being stubborn and purposefully unhelpful and now I will have to call someone to help me with something he’s done before (install fans).

He’s saying I shouldn’t depend on him just because he’s done something before when he JUST asked me for help installing a car seat because he’s never done it before!

I feel like he doesn’t put anyone before himself or have the belief of making your partner’s life easier, where I always do what I can to help him anytime I’m able. Even when he doesn’t ask.

I feel like he’s emotionally immature, selfish, and a downright butthead sometimes. But I’m here for a reality check in case I’m being spoiled and expecting too much.

Worth noting:

My daughter heard the whole thing and said whenever we fight she’s worried we’ll get divorced and even asked “is this what love is?” 💔 😢