Today is an anniversary, but not one that brings the warm and fuzzies. I was with my ex for 5 years when we got married, we felt like we did everything “right”. About a year after marriage, on this day August 18th I found out I was pregnant. I was going to be a mom, something I have always wanted. But my reaction surprised me, thrilled I was going to be a mom and overcome with joy that this was happening, but I immediately went to.. his family can never watch the baby, I don’t want my child picking up those tendencies, will I be able to stop those traits from my sweet child? Panic basically. But, I let my happiness override all of that and told him in a cute way “we’re pregnant!” He was so excited.. a few days later I felt .. “weird” and started bleeding.. the pregnancy didn’t stick and I was a puddle on the floor, could not get myself together. A whole lot of blood tests and bleeding later my body had healed but my heart had not. He started asking to have sex to get pregnant again. Right away. This turned me off in so many ways from him. It was like he had forgotten what just happened. I’m not going to sit here and bash him.. but that small thought process took me into a whirlwind to realizing, I love you but you are you and you are your family and I didn’t want a family with him. We ended up getting divorced about a year later. I choke on my tongue every time I say this, but maybe it was a blessing in a dark, heart wrenching disguise? Flash forward a few years.. and here I am, laying next to the love of my life.. 7 DPO hoping for my rainbow baby 🌈. Life has a funny way of unfolding itself. It’s not pretty and it hurts a lot at times, but I truly believe in the end of everything - It all happens for a reason ♥️