I found out Tuesday at a regular routine apt that there was no heartbeat. Sent for a level 2 ultrasound and confirmed the loss. The baby stopped growing and measured at only 15 weeks at 19 weeks 2 days.

No one was in any rush to do anything and I was given a number to call for an obgyn that “handles this” I made the appointment and this nasty old man came in and his first words were “ so I hear there is a dead baby that needs to be removed” I was in awe. He proceeds to say he can get my cervix ready for a d&c bc he can’t run insurance again and he won’t get paid plus he’s off on Friday.

After that visit I was cold calling obgyns for options and my former obgyn called in a favor at the hospital to take me but nothing could be done till after the weekend.

Tomorrow I’ll have a pre-op appointment but I started bleeding (dark old blood) and my uterus feels sore so not sure what’s that about. Both my kids I had an induction. I called the new doctor twice and was told since this is over the weekend and the OR is not staffed I need to just wait around and practically bleed to death before the hospital sees me.

No one cares I’m scared. No one cares I’m now bleeding and no one cares that I’m afraid I’ll wake up in the middle of the night bleeding like crazy. I’m a mess.

On top of it I’m also terrified of a d&c. I’ve never had surgery no anesthesia. But at this rate I’m afraid my body is taking matters in its own hands.

Please share advice. I’m freaking out!