Here is my fear and I think it’s irrational but it’s been lurking for years upon years.

I have never fully read the Bible. I’m baptized, worked in a church for over a decade, love God, know lots of pieces of the Bible, but yet have never actually read it cover to cover

Here is why. Every single time I start at the beginning I always get this pervasive feeling that if I keep going it’s going to make me doubt my faith and I DO NOT WANT THAT. I feel like reading the stories in their completed works will be so outlandish or incomprehensible that I will start to question it and if I start questioning the Bible than what’s next for questioning? My faithful side of me says that the devil is attacking and making me doubt and question my love and faith in God. My “logical” side of me says that of course I’m going to be like “how could people live that long” or something like that.

I truly want to read the Bible but I want it to strengthen my faith not make me doubt it. I had an interesting start to my walk with God. I was born to an agnostic and a Jehovah’s Witness. My uncle and grandfather atheist. My grandmother former catholic but still believed most everything as far as I know. My whole other side of the family was JW. I was forced to go to the Kingdom Hall as a kid and I always felt wrong and weird about it. In 5th grade I started lying to my JW parent about where I was going (but told my other parent). I started seeking other religions. I went to Taoist temples, Buddhist temples, apostolic, Baptist, catholic, Nazarene, and nondenominational churches. In the end, i found my place at a nondenominational church and my soul has felt at home. Because I’ve experienced so many different faiths and really tested them to my soul, I feel like I shouldn’t waiver on my faith, but what if I do and it’s because of reading the Bible which seems like such a fundamental thing?

Thanks for reading all of this.