I’ve been friends with him for 8 years, we hadn’t seen each other for a long time but always in communication, we started seeing each other. He told me he likes me and would like to “call me his girlfriend in the future.” I told him to give me time and then I’ll be in the right position for that mentally. It’s now been nearly a few months away from a year since then, I have opened up to him, I’ve allowed so many feelings I never shared with anyone, I’m mentally ready for that, to be his girlfriend, I know this because now, I can finally say for the first time ever, I want to be someone’s girlfriend, not just anyone’s gf but specifically his. I finally want to feel wanted by someone else. But now he tells me he’s not ready for that and “I can’t tell you what will happen for us in the future.” He said he’ll wait for me.

Now it seems like we went opposite. While I learned to open up to someone, he started to distance himself more and more. Things are not the same. Before, he use to ask me when he can see me, now, if I don’t ask him, he won’t bring it up at all about seeing each other when we have time. He use to hold my hand, he use to look at me, he called me honey. Now he doesn’t talk, i mean he talks but not real talk. He leaves me on read and doesn’t say goodnight anymore. He doesn’t really look at me anymore. He walks fast and ahead of me, doesn’t hold my hand. No more honey. I don’t know what to do. I asked him what do I mean to him and he said I’m his really good friend but that he is not ready for that. Why did he tell me he’ll wait?! Why did he tell me he’d like for me to be his gf?

So yeah when we hang out now, sometimes it leaves me feeling unwanted by him, simply because i got a sense of what it was to feel wanted for a moment. This is really starting to fuck with me apart from all my mental issues. So much that the last time we started getting physical (last week) i out of nowhere had one of my breakdowns and bursted into uncontrollable tears. Literally I cried while he was in, but he stopped immediately and started hugging me tightly trying to get me to breathe and calm down a little. He was there for that moment, really there, all I really needed was a long tight hug. He asked me whats wrong and if he had hurt me. I told him no he didn’t hurt me, he has never physically hurt me. But now I’ve realized this is one of the reasons I started crying. When we’d sleep with each other he would always pull me close to him basically laying with him. He would rather get on his phone instead of talk to me like before. We sit near each other and he’s like a million miles away. Idk what to do.

He still wants to go through with all the plans we’ve made. He still wants to take me out to my favorite restaurant and go camping and still attend my sisters wedding with me. I don’t understand what’s happening. Is it possible he really is having issues with something, might he not be okay? I don’t understand