For a little backstory:
My boyfriend was messaging his ex/baby mama back in January and they were confessing that they still had feelings for each other and he apparently told her he didn't know why he even asked me to marry him. I found out because she messaged me on facebook instead of him telling me himself. We broke up for a week and i stupidly took him back after he said he just got his feelings confused for her because they had a son together.
A few weeks later I find out he's messaging one of his "friends" about how good she looks since she has been working out. It caused an argument because of what we had just dealt with the beginning of that month. That night he decided he would go to his moms house for the night so I could "cool off" rather than being at home when I got off work so we could talk. That night I found out I was pregnant (my cycles were always irregular so I just took a test not expecting it to be poaitive). I decided to let our argument go and try again with our relationship since I was pregnant.
Off and on throughout my pregnancy he has been messaging various girls that turn out to be his "friends" once I find out about them (but yet before that I knew nothing of these friends). I'm currently 33 weeks and tonight I found that he was messaging back and forth with 2 of these girls (that he's asked if they wanted to date him in the past, said if he was their boyfriend he would treat them right, asking what they wore to bed, etc) again and they were exchanging face pictures and talking all throughout the day, yet he says he is too busy at work to message me except for a couple texts I get. I'm honestly fed up at this point because I've gave him chance after chance and each time I start trusting him again I'm proven how stupid I was. My issue now is that I'm not able to work because of my pregnancy so even if I wanted to break up with him I can't because then i couldn't pay rent and electric. I'm already in the process of filing bankruptcy from where I had to get loans and credit cards while we have been together to make ends meet since he would lose his job or quit.
I guess I just needed to vent. I honestly feel so stupid and worthless for wanting to believe he would change and be the man I thought he was when we first met and I honestly feel like I'm only here for convenience and not actually because he loves me.