Needing unbiased advice
Update: In response to Arianna,
I've done every single thing I can do. You're right. Money is so tight that I can't afford to get groceries, let alone a lawyer. In any event, dcfs has the ultimate say. I'm in no way "comfortable" with the situation. I hope it didnt seem like I planned it. I was approached with it planned for me. I'm guessing because his family is tired of seeing us struggle and want better.
I really hope I can get through this for y'all to understand. I'm going to try my best without yammering.
I currently live in Southern Illinois. I have 3 children (2 from a previous marriage-more on that in a minute- and 1 from my current marriage)
My 2 children from a previous marriage are 13 and 14. Currently, there is an open criminal case against their father for him physically abusing them. In turn (since I was the one that turned him in...-side note: I had been making the claims for years and dcfs and the court system wouldnt listen- Dcfs are the guardian and my sister is their foster parent temporarily, until the criminal case against him is closed. (Why they've done it this way, I really don't know, I'd say because the ex had a lawyer and they tried to say staying with me would be dangerous...🙄🙄
Anyways, I and my current husband (their step dad) have my children nearly every day. And when we dont (because dcfs calls my sister to check and see if they are there) it's just them staying a day or 2 overnight with my sister.
With that being said, here's where the situation arises.
Myhusband's family lives in Tennessee. We just got back from a little weekend get away from there and we are wanting to move there. We literally both have a guaranteed house and jobs when we get there...if we decide to move there. Actually, the jobs we are guaranteed pay (17 and hour and 24 an hour) which is about 6 dollars more an hour for both of us, and the 3 bedroom log cabin type house we are 100% able to get, is 300 less a month in rent that we are paying now. So from 800 a month to 500.
It would be a better financial situation. BUT
Dcfs wont allow my children to come with me, not at least until the criminal case is over and from the sounds of it, could be at least another year.
My husband and I are riding the struggle bus hard. Living paycheck to paycheck We want to make a better life for all 5 of us. Being here, isnt hapening. My kids want to move with us. Leaving without them makes me sick, but also I fear it would make dcfs choose to have them wards of the state. Its working out that I see them all the time (before their dad kept them from me to hide the abuse. We had joint custody, he was just the custodial parent. ) This is a hard situation and I'm not sure what to do. I'm on the fence. I dont want them to feel abandoned, I'm willing to make the trips to see them, but idk if it'd be enough. Any input would be appreciated.