Recently it seems as if my fiancé isn’t as into me. He started a new job Monday and it’s a job he really wanted, so obviously he’s been preoccupied and even when he comes home that’s all he’s focused on. He’s been getting there 45 minutes to an hour early every day, and the time he gets off changes. The first day he was excited to talk about it, but after that it seems like he doesn’t want to.

We used to text here and there throughout our workdays and it was nice being able to communicate even a little bit. Now at his new job his phone is off for the entire day. Which is fine, if he would talk to me at home. We both have busy schedules and this week I feel like I have absolutely no idea what’s going on in his day, life or head.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety and depression recently, due to life but mainly a loss I took recently. I started going to therapy, but my fiancé has told me straight up it’s a turn off for him when I’m stressed, anxious, or sad. So basically any way I’ve been feeling for the past month is a turn off for him. Sex is a way for me to feel like he’s still into me and attracted to me and makes me so much less stressed/anxious. But it’s gone from 5-6 days a week to maybe 3.

I know he’s busy and preoccupied but I feel like I’m losing the last person I love. I don’t think he feels the same way about me anymore. He doesn’t want to go down on me, sometimes I’ll start to initiate sex and then he’ll get up and leave saying he doesn’t have time , has to go fo something else, whatever excuse. When I’m sad or not happy and bubbly he seems to try and find a reason to leave the house. I’ve been trying so hard, but I feel like I’m losing him.

Even when I talk to him about it, it’s like he still brushes me off. I know he cares, but it’s like he’s constantly distracted. Like he’s so excited about this new portion of his life he doesn’t care anymore how I feel, or that my life feels like it’s falling apart most days. Last night I was telling him about my last therapy appointment. About one of my fears that he’s resenting me for not acting like a fun 22 year old and not being able to get over my grief and that I’m going to lose the last relationship I care about and person I love. Instead of looking me in the eyes and reassuring me he just distractedly said “that’ll never happen” and moved my head bc apparently it was blocking his view of the television.

There are good parts too, so maybe it’s just my anxiety and depression getting the best of me, but all his reactions make me feel like I really am losing him, or at least a major part of what we had.