*please no hate*

Before I start, please just know I’m happily married. I love my husband to bits and never wanna be without him.

When I was 14, I’d been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I was in grade 9. I became friends with a boy named Quinn. We were close and I loved talking to him. One night, we had a very long and deep conversation which made me feel super strong feelings that I’d never felt before. I expressed the way my boyfriend had been treating me wrongly. The next day, I felt wrong for the conversation (even tho it wasn’t wrong) and I told him we couldn’t talk anymore. We stopped talking for a while, but then once again became friends. He started dating my best friend and I felt better about talking to him because I knew he wasn’t available (it made me feel better because I had feelings with him but was afraid to break up with my boyfriend) later on, just before I moved 9 hours away, he confessed that he was in love with me and had been since he first laid eyes on me. I was afraid of my feelings and told him I couldn’t talk to him anymore (I feel so bad). I broke up with my boyfriend shortly after I moved and started rebounding. We had a very flirty conversation and things went a little too far. I felt awful and didn’t really ever talk to him again. Recently I’ve been having dreams about him (nothing sexual) and wonder what things would’ve been like if I was with him instead of my first boyfriend. I probably wouldn’t have met my husband tho, and I love my husband so much. I feel completely wrong for feeling this way. I’ve ignored my feelings for so long and now I feel like they’re coming out. I can’t talk to anybody about this cuz I’m worried they’ll think I don’t love my husband and think I’m a slut. I just needed to get it off my chest.