Today was hard

I worked today for the longest stretch away from my babe. I was gone for 7 hours and she was at home with my mother in law.

I cried the whole way to work. I cried while pumping in the office. I cried on the drive home. I cried when I held her. I cried when I tried to nurse her and she refused. We’ve never had problems with latching or nursing. She smells like my mother in law and I cried.

I am so thankful we have two grandmas who are amazing and want to spend as much time with babe as possible. And that we don’t have to do daycare. It really is a blessing.

But as her nana told me about their day and showed me photos I was just so.. jealous.

We have a very consistent bedtime routine and tonight that is out the window. I want to snuggle her and I want her to sleep on my chest. I don’t want to put her in her bassinet.

This has been by far the hardest day I’ve had in her whole 9 weeks and 3 days she has been living outside my body.

Time goes so fast and I don’t want to miss a thing.