Marriage on the rocks 😢 **long post**
My husband and I have been together almost 9 years married for 1, I moved interstate to be with him, I left my family and my friends, our relationship was good I have never loved anyone as much as I loved him, we welcomed our first baby girl on January 26th 2019.
We have had a rocky relationship throughout due to other influences i.e his family disapproval and very vicious really towards me but I put up with it because it was his family and I loved him, now I have grown some balls of my own and realised after years of abuse from them, them ruining our wedding and plenty more that I don’t deserve to be treated the way they have been treating me but to makes matters worse is my husband not once ever stood up for me or protected me from them. Finally once I found out I was pregnant I decided I needed to be around my own family people who would be there for me as well as my baby and help me for when our daughter was born and it has been my hardest journey yet but now it’s hell I am not happy anymore, the fighting to bickering between my husband and i, every time I look at him I feel anger. I thought it was the strain of having ur first child (as many say) from him never getting up of a night to him telling me he has it worse off than I do he works all day and tries to help throughout the night, I can rest when she does but he also forgets who does his washing who cooks dinner who is at his daughters beck and call everyday and night to him now not wanting to be around my family after I had an argument with my sister (had nothing to do with him, he isn’t involved) he belittles them and I feel it could be pay back for my relationship with his family but I never once belittled any of them or anything and we fight over everything he tells me the way I speak to him I treat him like an idiot etc but he picks at me I cannot say or do anything without him getting offended or think I’m attacking him when I’m not, it’s always my fault. Eg we were on a long drive and he was driving erratically so I admittedly yelled as when I have any emotion (scared, upset, angry, whatever) I use anger and I yelled for him to slow down and he got angry so he kept driving fast around roads he didn’t know at night and what made it worse was not only was our daughter in the car but I was scared, when I allowed myself to calm down I addressed the issue with him the next day and told him I was scared and he has to think as we had our daughter in the car he could have killed us all or others and all he could say was that I spoke to him like shit, like seriously 🤬🤬🤬 I am so lost at the moment I have no idea what to do, all we do is fight, we have gone from happy smiling kissing hugging all of that (usually of a night we would kiss three times and say I love you before falling asleep) I don’t know what it feels like to kiss my husband anymore 😢 or hug him, he is not a very good communicator never has been and is in counselling to try help him with that but isn’t helping one bit. I’m not sure why I am writing this it’s all over the place and probably makes no sense and so much more going on but I’m laying in bed listening to him snore whilst in tears myself thinking how can he sleep n I am the one here in tears. I don’t know what to do anymore