For mothers healing from a loss of a baby

I just recently experienced a loss of a baby, and to be honest I'm still trying to figure out how to cope and heal from it. I am still trying to figure out how to process it all.

Social media became unbearable to be on due to all the baby gear advertisements and pregnancy app advertisements. So I deleted all social media.

With me still figuring out, how to feel after the loss, I decided not to tell family/friends about it. To just keep it to myself and wait until after I feel mentally/emotionally ready to let then know. This was difficult to do being that many people would call and check up on me. Family members calling to ask how the baby is doing. Friends asking how the pregnancy is going. So.... I started ignoring calls and texts. Simply not responding.

My father, who is incarcerated at the moment, called me last week saying how excited he was to become a grandfather and telling me how one of his inmates is a grandfather-to-be as well. He asked me to send him copies of ultrasounds and to keep him informed of any updates. So I told him, "Theres no more baby". He was surprised of what I had said. He got silent for a moment, and then proceeded to ask what I meant by that. I explained everything to him. And with agony in his voice, he replied: "I am so sorry to hear that baby". With him having an alloted amount of time on the phone, our conversation was abruptly cut short afterwards leaving me with melancholy.

Today, I received a letter from him. Wishing me a happy (belated) birthday and within that letter he enclosed this: