Back story: husband and I are both active dusty army. I’m stationed in Belgium he’s stationed in Colorado and he deployed recently to the Middle East. He is a very sweet and kind hearted person. Very good at sitting down with me and talking things through. I just need some opinions. We’ve been apart for 13 months and it’s going fine so far. Both very trusting and respectful. This is literally the only thing that had made me have any type of negative feelings towards him.

We met in the military. We both wanted to deploy but I got orders to Belgium and he got orders for Iraq. Well there was a slim chance he could have come to Belgium instead and he didn’t take it because he would have rather deployed. Well him and I are supposed to get out of the army at the same time next year. Well they came to him and said that he has to extend a year or not go on the deployment. Well we talked about it for a few days. He knew how I felt but I told him to do it anyways. Because I knew he would resent me if I told him not to go. He’s been wanting to join and actually do something since he was young. So we agreed no contracting after we got out (original plan) and we’d get out after. Well now he gets out aug 2021. So I have to sit and do nothing for 10 months until we move back home and I can actually start a career. He’s risking his life when it wasn’t needed. I’ve deployed before. I know what it causes issues in marriages. Communication is hard on deployment. Well he’s been there for a week and ever since he’s been there we have nothing to talk about. We just kind of sit on the phone with each other. And I feel so fucking depressed. He thinks I’m taking out a old relationship on him because my last relationship crumbled within 3 months of deployment starting. I’m scared. I’m hurt. He chose a fucking deployment over me. It’s bullshit. I’m angry but I told him to do it so I can’t be angry. I know that if roles were reversed he would support me in anything I wanted to do so it makes me feel bad that I am not doing the same thing. Plus with him deploying and the work I’m doing over seas wel have close to 100k in savings when we get out. But I’m still angry and it’s effecting our relationship.

Sorry if that’s a jumbled mess🤦🏻‍♀️

I sent him a text message today after he went to sleep. Telling him I’ll support him no matter what and it just takes a little bit of adjusting. I know we’ll be fine. It’s just hard. I’ve forgiven him for the past recessions of choosing the deployment (twice) over me. We’ve already done 13 months apart so only 13 months left... 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️