I Survived and I'll shout it All Out!

So here it is, My Survival Story. Fyi I'm telling all you lovely ladies (and gentlemen) so that you may learn from it and if my experience even helps one of ya'll then it was worth it. So here we go....

We were together 10 years. It started out great. It was awesome having someone to come home too, have date nights, holidays weren't lonely anymore, the sex was good and regular.

When he turned 30 things went downhill. He started mistreating not only me but his whole family. I left once back in 2011. I should have stayed away but I let him talk with me and take me out to Dinner ( mistake #1) A month later I went back. ( mistake #2) We got engaged, we married and soon wanted a family of our own. What everyone asks right about now is...why did you marry this man? My answer. He promised everything will be different and no more yelling and no more this and that. And I believed him (mistake #3) the first 2 years of marriage were good, not great though. We would argue constantly. It was during the third year that he first slapped me across the face. He begged me not to leave him and I didn't (mistake #4) then came The Proverbial Cycle Of Abuse. And boy is it ever a real thing! I would always say to myself If he ever hits me twice in a row I'll leave. He did, I stayed. Then if he ever pushes me down the stairs I'll leave. He did. I stayed. If he ever makes me bleed ill leave, he did, I stayed...notice the pattern. I was so afraid to leave, to start over. At this point I was between 30 and 33 when all if this was happening. I didn't want to start over again with life. I was scared, nervous. I had no money, we would live pay cheque to pay cheque.

The baby thing... yup that was still going. Imagine me wanting to bring a child into this! How selfish was I. Turned out that I have pcos and he has a 20%sperm count. That's when he would call me a fat, barren c*nt. On a regular basis this is what I heard. It was October 15th 2017, we had a huge fight. He chipped my tooth and ripped some of my hair out, he then stomped on my right foot and broke the toes and fractured my foot. I was lying on the bed waiting for the pain to go away. I played that "if he ever" game too...then he came directly up to my face, inches apart and with eyes so dark he said "You know Im going to kill you one day right?" And I knew I'm going to die. Its gonna happen. So I would leave notes hidden for people to find around the house. I would take photos of my injuries and unbeknownst to him I made a few audio clips of him beating me. I still stayed. (Mistake #5)

My birthday November 22 2017 he had my face in his hand and told me to say I was a stupid bitch, I didnt, he squeezed harder. It hurt. I gave in he then spit my face. I stayed. (Mistake #6) Christmas 2017 came and went. Twice he tried to drive us over a bridge, on boxing day after visiting my really sick mother in the hospital he flipped out over my lack of wanting sex and to use his approved sex toy, a penis pump that he wanted me to always use on him, he screamed at me for 2 hours straight in the truck and tried to kill us. I still stayed. (Mistake #7)

Jan 11 2018...I got home from work, he was still asleep. He started screaming having a nightmare. I ran up to wake him up, he said that I will never embrace the penis pump will I. I freaked out and had to leave. he didnt like this. He followed me and then the biggest beating of my life happened. he had me on the ground he started punching my head over and over, I got up he put me in a choke hold, I grabbed at his crotch and squeezed, I got up again, he came right at me and punched me right in my face. My glasses flew off and broke. He picked me up from my hair and spit in my face. This took 3 minutes but it felt like forever. The police were called by the neighbours, they arrested him. he was charged with domestic violence and jailed. That's when left.

I stayed gone. I'm filing for divorce. We never had kids which was a blessing from God. It was hard, I felt like breaking down BUT I survived. I slowly rebuilt my life. I became strong and I don't take shit anymore. You...the one who read this long post and is going through this right now you can make it out, don't make any mistakes I did. You can do it. There are people who will help, will help heal you and make you whole again.leave now today pack the bag and stay gone! My story has the happy ending. I'm with a man who is gentle and kind, knows what he wants in life, no games no bullshit and he loves me...I'm happy.