Disclaimer: this isn’t really bdsm related but I feel like people are more open here so idk

Soo... there’s this guy whom I’m seeing as a friends with benefits kinda deal. About a year and a half ago we had the same thing going but I had to end it cus I had feelings for him (he was my first kiss and I was a total romantic back then) I’ve since gotten over him and I have no feelings for him anymore.

We’ve only been cuddling and kissing so far and I do want to fuck him but idk, there’s something about the way we interact with eachother that makes me.. idk insecure? It’s not anything he says or anything like that it’s just like the way he looks at me. He looks at me like I’m the most amazing thing he’s ever seen. It’s what made me fall for him in the first place, but now it makes me a little uneasy in a way, it’s disarming and it makes me close up into myself like I used to back then.

I used to be really insecure about myself and my personality and the way I acted but I’ve gotten a lot more secure in myself but it’s like... it’s like I’m a fucking virgin again XD

But yeah idk.. like I wanna fuck him but at the same time I’m not sure if it’s a good idea? But he’s really hot and he’s a good friend of mine, and I can trust him to not develop feelings for me and I need that kind of security right now.

Idk.

Vent over XD