Toxic family member…gag is I LIVE WITH HER!!!


I'm 15 going into my sophomore year and I live with my grandmother. My grandmother has been taking care of me basically my whole life but when I was six she took full custody of me. Now at the time I didn't know who I'd be when I was 15, but I know who I am and I feel as if my grandma has a problem with that.

My grandma is very old school with almost everything. From feminism to how to take care of a child. I on the other hand am update on the modern feminism and stuff.

Here's a pic of me^. Yes I know I'ma thick bowl of chocolate/caramel mixed ice cream🤤but my grandma doesn't like to think of my body like that. I used to be terrifyingly skinny in my younger ages and my grandma used to ask if I was eating correctly. But she used to buy me these cute clothes, nice shorts, crop tops, ripped jeans, ect ect. Now my thighs are bigger than Donald Trump's ego and she's a little bit too overprotective. I can't wear ANY of my clothes without her opinion "That shirt is too tight", "Those jeans make your butt look too big", "That tank top is showing alot of yo breasts", "That outfit is an invitation for rape". I am still made fun of because people think I'm still skinny or they think I don't have the right body. My grandma also has this mindset that every boy just wants to hit it and quit it. There are so many boys I'd like to meet but I have to restrict myself because my grandma is so just that I feel better if my friends don't meet her. Also in the past few months I've discovered that I'm truly bisexual☺️🏳️‍🌈.

My grandma is not ok with that AT ALL! She pretends like she is in my face but let her get on the phone when I'm in my room she's all sorts of homophobic. I honestly have tried to come out in the past but all my grandma thinks about is the sexual shit and that gay is an abomination. All of this has thrown me into months of depression and anxiety and attempts of suicide multiple times. And I can't say anything to her because black mothers/grandmas have a serious problem of listening to their children. Trust I've tried to. I honestly don't know what to do anymore because I've tried everything and everyone in my family agrees with almost everything she says and I literally can't wait till college so I can leave my family. That shits sad and depressing. I just want someone to tell me what I can do because the crying and cutting my body up is not helping.