Rape. Pregnancy. Depression

How do you get over rape? Especially when it was your own bf of 7 years.

I never thought I would be in this tough situation. I trusted him. I loved him, I saw everything with him.

A month ago, we were in the middle of having sex. What I thought would be an exciting night turned out to be a nightmare. We rely on condoms and FAM as our contraceptives. He refused to wear a condom. He yelled at me and threw the box across my face. I was shaking uncontrollably. He threw me until I had sex with him. I screamed and he still continued. I have no one to tell this too. I’m too scared.

Last week I tested positive on a pregnancy test. I already made a decision on this pregnancy and I rather not share. The man I once loved is the man I most fear. I continue to respond to his texts since I don’t know how to end it. Im afraid he will harm me. He keeps texting me asking me to test. I had to show a fake negative test. I feel like a horrible person not telling him the truth but I decided to lie for my own safety. He cussed me out for not getting pregnant. He said I’m not capable of getting pregnant and that he will keep trying until he gets me pregnant. It’s been a month I don’t want to see him. I’m so scared