I had a chemical pregnancy, I was estimated to be only 3-4 weeks. To find out that we were basically having an early miscarriage was absolutely and entirely devastating. As soon as I saw that positive test I was so over the moon with excitement. Just like you I imagined so many exciting moments in our new baby's life.. I came up with a cute way to tell my husband and he was so over joyed. We were lucky that the few we told we supportive during the difficult time of my miscarriage. I can feel myself starting to get depressed and emotional, what they estimated as my due date is coming up in a few months and while I know I shouldn't keep track of that I cant help but to do it. I see women on Facebook who have a cute baby bump who are due only maybe a month after I was estimated. I cant help see their bump pictures and feel both happy for them but sad for myself. I'd probably be ready to pop by now. Sometimes I feel bad and confused..would that make a future pregnancy our rainbow baby? Would PCOS make it near impossible for me to conceive naturally and carry full term? Not knowing if it's socially acceptable to grieve anymore is an emotional rollercoaster. I'm so sad and just want to be pregnant like many others on this app. I dont want what could have been an incredible and very much wanted pregnancy to just be swept under the rug or forgotten. We tried for what seemed like so long and It's as if it never happened. I'm so sorry for the women who lost their babies much further along then I did.. I simply cant imagine your pain..it adds to my guilt of feeling so heartbroken. Do I even have a right to grieve or feel devastated for losing what would've been a little baby when I read others losing theirs later on? So many questions and emotions run through my mind. I try to push it to the back of my mind but it only works for a short while. Then I'm sad and down again. Each month I'm hopeful. Then I lose hope with negative tests. Then I become hopeful again as another ovulation date approaches. My heart goes out to all the women who suffer no only from PCOS but any fertility trouble. I pray our prayers are answered when God wills it. I just hope it will be soon.. this month would be particularly special.