Can I write a letter to my ex???

Question

My ex and I ended things a few years ago. I was a child then. We have both “moved on” but part of me still needs some closure. He was someone who was very manipulative. He cheated a lot and threatened to kill himself if I ever left. I don’t know how I got out. I don’t even remember how things ended but lately I’ve been having lots of anxiety and thinking of my past a lot. I’m learning I still have lots of issues that I believe were caused from this relationship. I know I would look bay shit crazy if I messaged him but is it totally unreasonable? Just want a couple answers that I feel like I never got that I hope would help me.

Answer

One thing I’ve learned... you have NOT moved on if you need closure. I wouldn’t do it because you’re opening a new door that needs to stay shut

Answer

Why don’t you write the letter and then burn it? At least you get to write it out and it may help. I would not contact him!

Answer

When I was 19 i was in therapy due to a emotionally abusive boyfriend. We ended up talking about my father who left when I was 17 and just cut me out of his life. Of course there was a lot of things left unsaid and hurt feelings.  She encouraged me to write a letter for closure and called it “the 3 letter process”. You write a letter and just put everything on paper, the hurt, the anger, write it all down.  Then put the letter away. A few weeks, months later, go back to the letter, reread it and edit it. You find there are things you want to word differently, maybe some harsh words are taken out, other questions are added.  Then put it away again for a few more weeks, months. Take it out a second time and edit the letter again. My therapist said that by the 3rd letter, we have truly said what we need to say, you’re less emotional about it, you’re calmer each time you rewrite. It was absolutely wonderful and this advise helped me big time.  By the time I had written my 3rd, I burnt it. But it felt great and I got the closure I needed.  Sorry for the long post

Answer

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Answer

Write or if it makes you feel better but don't send it. He's not going to give you the answers you want to hear. Work through your feelings and issues with a therapist.

Answer

I understand how you feel my ex was the exact same way and our break up was recent. Sometimes I have the need to reach out to him to get closure but then I realize that is not the way to go. You can move on from him without speaking to him it just takes time.

Answer

You shouldn’t reach out and talk to an abusive person.

Answer

No. No you cannot go there again. Let it go and let yourself actually heal and move on. Go find a therapist to talk to... anything else... because what happens when you don't get the answers you want?

Answer

Move forward not backwards. Find a therapist and work with them, no reason to engage in contact. If you need to write your feelings down, go for it, but don’t actually mail it.

Answer

You can to I i guess to get closure

Can I write a letter to my ex???

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