I’m so scared

So I am pregnant again. (A little back story) I had my son in 2017 and then got pregnant again last August. My hcg was super low but the 6 week scan looked great, then I had the ten week scan and my world flipped. The baby had fluid all over. A huge cystic hygroma from the top of the head down to what would have been legs. So I met with maternal medicine and genetic specialist who then told me that I should prepare to miscarry and shortly after I had a d&c. I am now pregnant again and the due date would be the same as the baby we lost. I am so excited but I am so so so unbelievably scared that this is going to happen again. It’s still a really sore subject honestly. But anyway I elected to do both blood tests on myself before I ended up having to the the d&c and then when the time came I allowed them to do a biopsy. The biopsy came back ok, no genetic defects etc....the specialist said it’s honestly just “shit luck” and the chances of it happening again are slim to none. I want to believe her words but it’s hard.

Has anyone else been through this? How do you let yourself be excited and release your fears? Did you also speak to a specialist about your chances of this repeating? All I do is google and google. I’m terrified to even have an ultrasound. I have a nurses interview next week, which they will order blood work and what not and then they will schedule an ultrasound. But man this is terrifying. One minute I’m happy the next I’m crying over what if’s. I think it may be even harder because this is the time I went through my roller coaster with the last pregnancy and that the due date is the same or around the same time, I hadn’t realize this until I came across my last ultrasound and now I’m in a spiral of emotions. I just don’t want to go through that again. It was the worst thing I have ever been through in my life. I don’t even want to tell people I’m pregnant because I am terrified.