Disappointment 🥺


It’s been a month trying, I know that some people have tried for years and years and in no way am I downplaying that at all.

I’m just soooo confused and frustrated at my body! After waiting 34 years I finally found true love and was so excited to have a child with the man I love. He has two other children, including 1 on the way (due in October before we met).

We jointly decided I would get off of birth control in July when I finished that months pack.

I had a 4 day withdrawal bleed but no period in sight. It’s been 42 days. On cycle day 30 I decided to try to take ovulation tests to see if maybe I was ovulating. The first two were negative then I got a peak positive and a high the next day so I was excited like damn body what a coincidence that I decide to start these tests and 2 days later it says I ovulated...maybe I have a chance ...

For 2.5 days I had light pink spotting, only when I wiped and nothing really on my underwear or liner besides an occasional spot. Never red, not like the heavy withdrawal bleed I had. So I don’t think this is my period. But I’ve had some cramping and my lower back hurts a lot.

And it’s 8DPO from the ovulation tests I took..

So it’s day 42and I just want something to happen. I want to get my period to at least know my body is working again after 15 plus years on birth control. Or to have a positive pregnancy test and one from last night said no.

It’s like can ovulation tests be wrong? Can my body be so fucked up? Did I wait too long to try to have a child? By waiting to make sure I was ready and with the right person did I fuck up my chances of becoming a mom? It’s all so beyond overwhelming and I’m not sure what to think.

And even if no one responds, thank you to anyone who read this.