7 months late

Amanda

My daughter was born 1/17/19 at 5 pounds 7 ounces. She’s amazing!!! Bringing her into this world was not the best experience. I was in labor for days but not dilated enough to be admitted to labor and delivery. I was home alone, in pain after an argument with my soon to be ex-husband. He lived with his mother an hour away after an argument on New Year’s <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> escalated and he slammed me against a wall at 9 months pregnant. I kicked him out and filed for divorce. I called him when I went into labor and was at the hospital at midnight. He didn’t arrive until 7 am. At 1:13pm my daughter was born and it was an amazing experience to deliver her and feel absolutely no pain. Thank you, epidural. At about 6pm, I asked the nurse to remove a bedpan from underneath me (preeclampsia meds caused diarrhea). The bedpan was filled with blood and three doctors came running in and I had to have emergency surgery to find the source of the bleeding. Turns out my cervix ripped during labor and I was bleeding out for five hours, without knowing because of the bedpan! A few blood transfusions later and a miserable few days, we took the baby home and decided to go to marriage counseling. The next 6 months were amazing with my little baby but tainted with the unhappiness a miserable man can bring to a home. My husband stopped coming home after work, stopped answering texts during the work day and completely ignored me and the baby unless friends or family were visiting. He became physically and verbally abusive and in April an argument escalated to the point where he slapped me across the face and gave me a bloody nose. I was depressed and miserable and couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. He kept telling me every argument was me and I tiptoed around the house trying to make him happy. He moved out after that fight and I was too pathetic and desperate to make the marriage work to give up. At times he would say he was dating someone new and other times beg to come back. I caught him cheating on me with one of his high school students. At that moment, all the love in my heart disappeared. He cried and threatened to kill himself. Begged and tried to negotiate with me not to report him. But I knew what I needed to do. It would be wrong for me as a mother of a beautiful little girl, not to try to help someone’s else’s little girl being taken advantage of by her teacher. He lost his teaching job, teaching license and impregnated the little girl. We are signing our divorce papers next week. I gave up child support for him to give up custody and for now my child is safe from a predator. I’m almost free and my baby is sooo happy and cute. She doesn’t know who he is because he chose not to see her after he moved out even though I begged until I caught him with a kid. My days are spent caring for my child and enjoying the last few days of summer. And one day, i hope I can forgive myself for allowing him to come home after her birth and ruining each and every day that should have been all about her.