He doesn’t understand me and I’m doing my best to understand him but I feel it’s only me who is changing and trying.

So Bub is 8.5 months old and my partner has been pressuring me for sex ever since my 6 weeks after birth check up. Now I don’t have a high sex drive and he knows this, we have had sex just not as frequent as he would like. My pregnancy was high risk we have lost a daughter and son because my cervix is weak. But he said he was hoping our sex life would go back to how is was between losing our daughter and son but I told him it was only like that because we where TTC and because we lived with one of my sisters so had to plan it around when she wasn’t home.

I’m in Australia and today (Sunday) is Father’s Day and I did nothing for him because he did nothing on Mother’s Day for me and all I wanted was a travel cup so I could have a hot drink when I did Bubs 3/4am feed and a card but got nothing and it took him a week to realise I was upset. He also didn’t give me a Christmas present even after my mum and I went out and got his when I was 35 weeks pregnant and he didn’t have to get Bubs presents because I had them already and wrapped them before I was going to stay at my parents for the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy.

How do I deal with someone having a high sex drive? he watches porn which it doesn’t interest me and I’m ok with some of what he watches but he has started watching live porn and I don’t like this at all.

A few months back Bub was on the floor playing while I was in the shower and after lunch he told me he has already mastered bated today and I asked when he said when I was in the shower. I was shocked the computer is in the same room where Bub was playing so I turned around and said that I didn’t want him doing that and watching porn if Bub and I are in the same room as him or awake. And to shock him out of it I said if the police raided the house and they found him watching and doing that with a baby in the same room we would have our baby taken off us (the last owner of our house was involved with drugs and was put into jail because of it, so hypothetically the house could be raided).

The shock tactic worked for a little while then 2 months ago he started watching the live porn and I don’t know how to talk to him about it, i don’t like that he is watching it. I went to the doctors 2 weeks ago and left Bub asleep with him and come home to him feeding Bub breakfast 😲 that never happens, I asked how long had Bub been up for he said the whole time I was gone. I was using the computer while he had a nap and found he had been watching the live porn while I was at the doctors it sickens me so much that next time I’m going out and he’s home I will be taking Bub with me I don’t want to lost my baby because of something my partner his doing. I’d kick him out before it came to that.

Before Bub was 3 months old my partner also googled how much child support would be and googled “come home from work and my partner has done nothing all day” this hurt me so much I was crying and hugging Bub and upset Bub because I was crying. Now he only just got a job an month before Bub was born and before that he was the one sitting at home all day doing nothing but play computer games while I worked and he did nothing around the house till it was my days off but would only do the minamin and if I sat down to relax he would to.

we have talked about the “done nothing all day” google and I said how do you think I felt coming home and all you had done was play a game it’s different for me I’m raising our baby and trying to do what I can but it’s hard when I can’t get Bub done for a day nap in the cot (till 4 months old). He denied he looked it up and said he didn’t even click on the link to read anything.

Sorry about my rant

How do I deal with a partner that has a high sex drive?

he says he is tired after work everyday but still has energy for sex I don’t get it and I’m not going to starfish so he can have his fun that just makes me feel like I’m nothing but a bit of meat.