My boyfriend and I seem to have a lot of issues in our relationship. One of them for me personally is the men that I have been with in the past. My boyfriend claims that he doesn’t care but it clearly does. I could be coming home from work/school and he can randomly say in a light hearted tone “you was sucking dick in the bathroom, huh”

Or if I was out with friends and have drank alcohol (he doesn’t like when I drink alcohol as one time we got into a fight when I was drunk and I said I wish I could have someone else, i understand why he’s angry when I drink completely) but if I know I am at my limit and conscious of all that is happening and I come home it’s always me being a cheater who was “deep-throating 3 dicks in the bathroom”.

He claims he doesn’t care about my past and yet yesterday he asked someone we both know about my past. He said if I was anyone else I wouldn’t be able to show you around, but I love you.” That hurt my feelings either way as I feel like even though he is with me despite who I have chosen as sexual partners in my past, I am still not good enough to be with him

He tells me to get over it and grow the fuck up and I do try. I hate myself for the people I have chosen to share my body with in the past- they were all on account of my low self-esteem and my gullibility, but I do try to forget about it as I know that it was my choices and no one else’s. But when your boyfriend-someone who claims to love you and says that you aren’t a bad person for your past- literally accuses you of cheating almost every other day, it’s hard to move on.

He thinks that I am just stuck on my past but of course I am if it’s always brought up by him.

He also feels upset because he believes that I was doing anything and everything with the men I’ve slept with and I don’t do that with him.

The truth is I never had a sexual encounter bedsides one where I didn’t let my insecurity get the best of me and make the whole process hours of procrastination. I don’t like sex anymore really especially if the one man I’ve ever loved makes me feel like I am a dirty and nasty slut.

Anyways, my question really is am I wrong for the way I feel? Am I wrong for feeling so hurt and depressed by him always bringing up what I have done?