So, when I got pregnant with my son 3 years ago I was not in a good place at all. The relationship I was in was super toxic and he was abusive and I just couldn't get away from him. We moved hours away from my family and I had basically no one. Well, the whole pregnancy wasn't exactly that happy glowing experience it "should" be. After having my son, I was still in a very dark place and had post partum depression, on top of being in that awful relationship. Shortly after my son turned a year old, we split up and I moved back to my hometown. I'm married to a wonderful man now but I can't help but feel like I missed out during my pregnancy and feel like a terrible mom for the post partum depression. Like I feel like I missed out on all these happy times with my son. I'm scared that I'll never get to experience it but also torn like I'll feel like I'm replacing the bad memories. Has anyone experienced this? How do you cope? I feel like I'm a great mom to my son now because I'm happier and healthier, but I can't help but shake I missed out on a lot.