I wanted to share something with you guys that I normally wouldn't share with anybody and I'm doing this over voice text on my way home so I apologize if it's not properly punctuated.

lately I have been feeling very very depressed and hopeless and I was starting to think to myself that everyone around me would be better off without me and I really don't want to feel that way so I took a chance and I called the national suicide prevention hotline. I was kind of scared to call them because I've heard that they just sent emergency responders and Baker act you but I was to the point where I didn't even care if that happened to me because I figured if it got serious enough I would just end it before they got there. it turned out I didn't need to worry or even bother turning the GPS off my phone I spoke to a guy and we will call him John and he let me talk and rant and cry and he talked me through it by being very understanding and giving small bits of feedback and advice without interrupting or making me feel like my feelings were not valid. I didn't even understand the extent to which my pain was rotting me from within until I talked things through and realized that even though things felt so helpless and hopeless that I can fix them. I realize that there is help for me and after talking to John I feel more alive than I have and I don't even know how long just because a stranger took some time to tell me that what I was feeling was important and that I had every right to feel the way I did and he presented me with options that did not require emergency responder care things that I could do to help myself pick myself up and that was the most empowering feeling. I 100% think that my life is going to be better because of that one phone call and if you are having a day like I was and feel like the world is better off without you or nobody cares about you I want to tell you that that's not true. it is true that I do not know you however what I do know is that no matter who you are you are importance and the world is better with you here and regardless of what you think I know that sometime in your life there was at least one person that you impacted in a positive way and if nobody else that one person needs you to be here to pick them up and tell them that they matter too. 3 hours ago I couldn't even see myself coming home from the store unless I was coming home in a body bag now I see myself going to work tomorrow and sitting down with my kids painting by numbers and I can see myself a month from now thinking back to this moment and being happy I made that phone call. I can see myself looking back to this moment a month 3 months 6 months a year 5 years 10 years from now and being very happy that I made that phone call. if you need somebody to talk to but are too afraid of the consequences you don't need to be scared it will not hurt you to call the national suicide hotline I promise you. and if you don't want to call them but still want somebody to talk to comment on this thread or message me on <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> and I will be there to talk to you.

You matter, and the world is better with you here. I love you. I want you here.

Call the suicide prevention hotline

1-800-273-8255

They will be there for you, and I will too ❤️