Moment of vulnerability here... Going to be very honest and up front and I need some good advice from women.

I have been in a long distance relationshipfor almost a year now. No titles such as bf or gf given until I officially move by him,Tommy, in California. It is hard tonkeep it going because we miss eachother very much and we speak every day when we're apart which has been for the majority of our relationship. I do love him and care for him but I dont know if I should continue committing my time to him for several reasons:

-distance

-risk of it not working out while I live there (plan is to move to where he lives bc he has a great job that pays well)

-no guaranty of work when I relocate

-no guaranty of a successful relationship

-homesick

-i have a steady job that I love here

-i have a group of friends that i am very close to here

-my parents are getting older and may need me

-i am guaranteed financial support from my folks if I stay in NJ (refuse to help if i leave to live in California)

-I am starting to develop feelings for someone else...but that may sizzle away..continue reading to see what I mean..

If not to make things worse, an old crush of mine (Bruce) has reached out to me... Like I mentioned earlier, I will be very honest...I still have feelings for this guy. They might be small feelings but they are there and he wants to date me but I cannot do that while Im talking to the other guy who lives in California. Here are the pros of me staying with Tommy, hence my dilemma:

-he loves me and supports me in every way

-he is respectful towards myself and my family

-hes good looking and great during the intimate moments

-he lives in California, which unlike NJ is sunny and the people are happier

- did I mention that he truly loves me and treats me like a queen?

-he will support me till I find a job

I seriously dont know what to do. Ive been hurt by love before and I want to be cautious of who I bring in again but theres so much chaos I cant concentrate. Whenever I'm in California Tommy is the one. The best. I want to marry him and move in. Its almost insane how mich I love him when were close. But when were far apart, and I see that Bruce has called me, we talk on the phone and its as if Tommy dosen't even exist...I'm so ashamed to have these feelings that I would just end things with Tommy but honestly....i dont want to let go.

I know im being selfish, either way. What should I do? What would YOU do? Any advice, non judgmental and honest please, would be really appreciated.

Thank you <3